So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
