For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
