He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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