I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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