Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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