My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
