i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
