The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
