32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
