i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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