I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
