yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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