why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
