I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
