Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
