Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
