Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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