No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
