I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The air was thick with penises
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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