Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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