just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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