My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
