so that wasnt chicken after all
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
