they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Boobs are out for the taking
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
