what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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