No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
