She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
