I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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