So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
