and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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