So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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