walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
