Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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