So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
