Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
