tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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