is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
