She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
