Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I am naked and annoyed.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
