New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
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