the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I want her autograph on my taint
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
