i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
