There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
