What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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