She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
