All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
