I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
