quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
