the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
