dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
