He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
